Perception Vs. Reality
One of the best parts of traveling is the countless people you get to meet and have conversations with. However, getting to know new people is not always easy, and opportunities for confusion abound. This idea does not just apply to international travel—even in a single country, there are diverse ways of speaking and changes in social norms which can all lead to misguided perceptions. Some people have even argued that the political and social divides in our country create different worlds for people to live in—if you think this claim has merit, cross-cultural communication skills may be necessary to have productive discussions around some of the most pressing issues of our time.
This past year, I experienced misunderstandings with a greater frequency than ever before, both at college, and abroad. While misunderstandings come from a breakdown in communication, I don't think this is indicative of my communication skills worsening, but rather the diversity of people I am surrounded with increasing. While errors in communication are an unavoidable part of life, I hope the following tips can help you both reduce their frequency and be more equipped to deal with them when they inevitably arise.
1. Use basic body language which mirrors the message you are trying to convey
The importance of body language is a hot topic for books which try to teach you a "secret language" you need to "get ahead in life" or other such bold claims. However, basic body language is something that is surprisingly uniform around the world. Smiling generally indicates happiness and good posture tends to be associated with confidence. Utilizing basic physical movements can be a great way to indicate your intentions in conversation-whether you're talking across language or culture barriers, or just trying to reach across the aisle politically.
2. When there is a single occurrence which forms the basis for the error, do everything you can to clear things up
Sometimes, you do or say something that is taken completely the wrong way, or very much misunderstood if there is a language barrier. If a single event triggers a strong reaction, take any and all actions available to explain yourself. This is the same idea as that an innocent person should never admit guilt, because a truly innocent person has nothing for which to be guilty. Although it is good to recognize that situations can be viewed differently by different people, it is equally important to explain yourself. By not allowing these types of perceptual errors to persist, you can try to prevent them from becoming cemented in people's opinions of you.
3. Acknowledge that sometimes you just have to let things go
Although I encourage you to use these guidelines and any other skills you have to prevent false perceptions, sometimes these erroneous perceptions are built so slowly over such a long period of time that they are around to stay. If that is the case, it is best to just accept them, even if that's less than ideal, and get on with your life.
The reality of misunderstandings is that even if each party involved realizes the truth of the situation, they might still feel lingering discomfort from the situation itself. While these skills can be a useful tool, miscommunications are nearly impossible to avoid entirely. When they arise, just do your best to respond appropriately. At some point, all that matters is being able to look yourself in the mirror at the end of the day and know that you did your best-both in your actions, and your efforts to provide clarity about any confusing situations.
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Photo is of the exhibit “Floating in the Falling Universe of Flowers” at teamLab Planets in Tokyo. A computer renders the artwork in real time based on user interaction in the room, meaning that it is neither prerecorded nor on loop. Each scene is entirely unique, never before seen, and never to be seen again.